The Laughing Thread, the gift that keeps on giving.

[AG7]

BREAKING NEWS:

David De Gea to stay at the swamp! ... Real Madrid are not appealing to La Liga for late submission of paperwork!

This is getting crazier by the minute. RM has royally fucked them over not once but twice this window, first with Ramos and now DDG.

[Beefymcfc]

BREAKING NEWS:

David De Gea to stay at the swamp! ... Real Madrid are not appealing to La Liga for late submission of paperwork!

This is getting crazier by the minute. RM has royally fucked them over not once but twice this window, first with Ramos and now DDG.

Charlie Nicholas just said that RM have publicly humiliated the Rags, and he's right. Rags tried to play hardball and Real through it back at them.

From Ramos to Jones, Otamendi to Smalling, Neymar to Martial, and they've got rid or alienated many of their players. I'm fairly sure that goes for their fans as well.

Anybody feel the slightest bit sorry for them?

[Chopper]

no

[PeterParker]

I am curious what will happen to De Gea.

My bet is Louie will not play him and from january, Real Madrid can get him free, so there is no point of paying him then.

[Peter Doherty (AGAIG)]

Anybody feel the slightest bit sorry for them?

Lest we forget

[Peter Doherty (AGAIG)]

Here's what Real have had to say about the De Gea transfer (dodgy translation not mine):


OFFICIAL STATEMENT | 01/09/2015

After the events of yesterday in relation to the alleged hiring of David de Gea player, Real Madrid wishes to state:
1. Manchester United did not open through negotiation by the federal rights of David de Gea until morning yesterday.

2.- Real Madrid, despite the difficulties of an operation of this kind in the last day of registration, agreed to initiate these conversations.

3. When Manchester United accessed through negotiation this morning yesterday makes it contingent to reaching an agreement with Real Madrid player Keylor Navas to be incorporated from the British club this season, and reports that contacts with representatives of the player.

4. Real Madrid and Manchester United reach a rapid agreement on the transfer of both players. After the drafting of the relevant contractual documents required and in order to proceed with sufficient time to process both the FIFA Transfer Matching System (TMS) as its entry in the LFP time, Real Madrid Manchester United forwards contracts at 13 . 39 hour Spanish

5. The Manchester United sent its comments to the contracts eight hours later, at 21:43 Spanish time, including minor modifications. Not being relevant, all changes were accepted immediately by Real Madrid, with the intention to register the player while both TMS and Professional Football League.

6. Real Madrid after signatures Players and Keylor Navas De Gea, sent the English club said contracts signed at 23:32 Spanish time, we await to receive the final documents signed by Manchester United.

7. The Manchester United reached the final agreement with representatives of Keylor Navas at 23:53 Spanish time and is at that time when the contracts are sent to the player to be signed.

8. The Manchester United entered the TMS data from the operation of David de Gea, not those of Keylor Navas, at 00:00 Spanish time, simultaneously referring to Real Madrid transfer contracts signed. Real Madrid receives the full documentation at 00:02 and tries to access the TMS but it was already closed.

9. At 00:26 Spanish time the computer system of FIFA TMS makes an invitation to Real Madrid to fill Player data David de Gea, given that the deadline for registration in England remains open to this day. Real Madrid, in the eventuality of a contentious course of the transfer of the player, decided to refer the contract to the Professional Football League, even knowing that the deadlines had expired.

10. In short, the Real Madrid has made everything you need, and at all times, to carry out these two transfers.

[iwasthere2012]

Here's what Real have had to say about the De Gea transfer (dodgy translation not mine):


OFFICIAL STATEMENT | 01/09/2015

After the events of yesterday in relation to the alleged hiring of David de Gea player, Real Madrid wishes to state:
1. Manchester United did not open through negotiation by the federal rights of David de Gea until morning yesterday.

2.- Real Madrid, despite the difficulties of an operation of this kind in the last day of registration, agreed to initiate these conversations.

3. When Manchester United accessed through negotiation this morning yesterday makes it contingent to reaching an agreement with Real Madrid player Keylor Navas to be incorporated from the British club this season, and reports that contacts with representatives of the player.

4. Real Madrid and Manchester United reach a rapid agreement on the transfer of both players. After the drafting of the relevant contractual documents required and in order to proceed with sufficient time to process both the FIFA Transfer Matching System (TMS) as its entry in the LFP time, Real Madrid Manchester United forwards contracts at 13 . 39 hour Spanish

5. The Manchester United sent its comments to the contracts eight hours later, at 21:43 Spanish time, including minor modifications. Not being relevant, all changes were accepted immediately by Real Madrid, with the intention to register the player while both TMS and Professional Football League.

6. Real Madrid after signatures Players and Keylor Navas De Gea, sent the English club said contracts signed at 23:32 Spanish time, we await to receive the final documents signed by Manchester United.

7. The Manchester United reached the final agreement with representatives of Keylor Navas at 23:53 Spanish time and is at that time when the contracts are sent to the player to be signed.

8. The Manchester United entered the TMS data from the operation of David de Gea, not those of Keylor Navas, at 00:00 Spanish time, simultaneously referring to Real Madrid transfer contracts signed. Real Madrid receives the full documentation at 00:02 and tries to access the TMS but it was already closed.

9. At 00:26 Spanish time the computer system of FIFA TMS makes an invitation to Real Madrid to fill Player data David de Gea, given that the deadline for registration in England remains open to this day. Real Madrid, in the eventuality of a contentious course of the transfer of the player, decided to refer the contract to the Professional Football League, even knowing that the deadlines had expired.

10. In short, the Real Madrid has made everything you need, and at all times, to carry out these two transfers.

Amateurs.....


Desperate Amateurs.

[DoomMerchant]

This was a stitch up. Rags did this on purpose. Even a clown car troupe could have gotten this done.


And for what? To keep De Gea? He hates them now. They are fucking with his ability to get his dick wet. Imagine the blowies he just lost out on. Every day of the week in Madrid. Hardly ever in Manc.

Don't come between a man and his blowjobs.

Cheers

[Dameerto]

This was a stitch up. Rags did this on purpose. Even a clown car troupe could have gotten this done.


And for what? To keep De Gea? He hates them now. They are fucking with his ability to get his dick wet. Imagine the blowies he just lost out on. Every day of the week in Madrid. Hardly ever in Manc.

Don't come between a man and his blowjobs.

Cheers

i don't think there's any way Van Panface would have publicly had a go at De Gea as recently as yesterday if they were plotting to keep him. I really think the RAGs dropped the ball and didn't send all the signed paperwork.

[Foreverinbluedreams]

This was a stitch up. Rags did this on purpose. Even a clown car troupe could have gotten this done.


And for what? To keep De Gea? He hates them now. They are fucking with his ability to get his dick wet. Imagine the blowies he just lost out on. Every day of the week in Madrid. Hardly ever in Manc.

Don't come between a man and his blowjobs.

Cheers

i don't think there's any way Van Panface would have publicly had a go at De Gea as recently as yesterday if they were plotting to keep him. I really think the RAGs dropped the ball and didn't send all the signed paperwork.

This is the danger of speaking about a move before it's official.

ARE YOU WATCHING SUNDAY SUPPLEMENT?

[AG7]

Arsenal are being questioned (and laughed at) for being the ONLY club across Europe to have NOT signed a SINGLE outfield player this whole summer ...

Liverpool are well where they belong, have signed multiple mediocre mid-table signings which will keep them ... well, mid-table ...

Chelsea's two centre-back signings today are nothing short of a big joke their board is playing with the Moaning one ... and just watch him moan some more in coming weeks ...

And of course what's going on at the Swamp is just hilarious. I mean I don't even want to start as list is so long ... of players that have left, their statements after leaving, bust ups with some of those still there ... then of course to top it all off is this De Gea saga ...

My only gripe today is why the fuck is media not reporting the young 19 year old signing at £58m which it is (including easily achievable add ons) and instead keep calling it at £38m which is just the up front payment, while the whole of France is reporting it at what it is ... Fifty Eight fucking million sterlings.

Oh, and any guesses, which club looks (and is) the most professionally run in the whole of England?

[Grandad Rosler]

Absolutely loving all this. Got our business done in a professional way. Named our targets and went about things in the proper manner. We ooze class as a club no matter how much we get dragged through the bushes by the shithouse media.

We have fantastic owners with sound business acumen, a top quality squad and a manager who refuses to get drawn into shitty mind games. I'm normally a pessimist having been through what we have (and don't think I can ever beat that out of myself) but I am utterly looking forward to this season on all fronts.

Ain't karma a bitch

[Sparklehorse]

This was a stitch up. Rags did this on purpose. Even a clown car troupe could have gotten this done.


And for what? To keep De Gea? He hates them now. They are fucking with his ability to get his dick wet. Imagine the blowies he just lost out on. Every day of the week in Madrid. Hardly ever in Manc.

Don't come between a man and his blowjobs.

Cheers

i don't think there's any way Van Panface would have publicly had a go at De Gea as recently as yesterday if they were plotting to keep him. I really think the RAGs dropped the ball and didn't send all the signed paperwork.

This is the danger of speaking about a move before it's official.

ARE YOU WATCHING SUNDAY SUPPLEMENT?

I'll second that with brass knobs on !

[iwasthere2012]

Absolutely loving all this. Got our business done in a professional way. Named our targets and went about things in the proper manner. We ooze class as a club no matter how much we get dragged through the bushes by the shithouse media.

We have fantastic owners with sound business acumen, a top quality squad and a manager who refuses to get drawn into shitty mind games. I'm normally a pessimist having been through what we have (and don't think I can ever beat that out of myself) but I am utterly looking forward to this season on all fronts.

Ain't karma a bitch

I know what you mean. I can't help feeling that we have an opportunity here to do more than just win the league or a few trophies, this year.
I argued this in a different thread last night.
Having seen how this summer panned out and the gulf in class between our operation and the likes of the Rags who have become just ridiculous, The dippers who were absolutely vile in every way concerning the sterling transfer and even Mourinho in the way he couldn't keep his nose out of other teams business, regardin KDB. I feel that Manchester City's policy of saying nothing to the press and dealing with things professionally behind close doors has been vindicated.

We all get frustrated when we see rubbish written about us because they basically have to make up negative stories through lack of any information.
But who's laughing now.

I don't think things have changed that much in the printed media or online stuff, but I do think that there has been a noticeable shift in some of the TV punditry and we're only four games in. I think if the team stay focussed and keep up the form they're in, there is a chance to do untold damage to the usual darlings, especially United with the chaos they seem to be in. A successful year on the pitch could see a watershed moment in the Premiership history.

I'm probably overstating it, but there just seems to be a palpable difference in the way we do things and the way the rest of the top six or seven do things and I think some people are waking up to the fact.
I think the headlines will become more negative regarding the likes of The Scum if things remain as they are and the less City say about it the better. Stay out of the press for anything other than glowing reports about our football.

Things could not have started better.

[Original Dub]

Sky are trying their very best to make that tag panic buy sound amazing.

"He could be the next thierry Henry? "

"Let's go live to James Cooper "

Cooper - "it's our understanding that one of the add ons in this deal is dependant on him winning the ballon Dor... That's how highly rated this player is"


Pmsl

[john@staustell]

Sounds even better than Buster Phillips

[Grandad Rosler]

Love it. What a bunch of bell ends.

"it's been an eventful transfer deadline day"

Erm no it hasn't

[carl_feedthegoat]

Watch on youtube.com

[ruralblue]

Watch on youtube.com

Funny!!! Ha ha..... eeee....eeee..... strawberry.

[patrickblue]

Watch on youtube.com