The transfer window’s open now, which should in theory get things finally moving this summer. In theory. But Paul Pogba’s still not left Juventus, and Manchester City are still interested. Now it seems someone who knows Paul has had dinner in a fancy restaurant with a couple of people who have an expense account at Barcelona, and you know what that means. The capture of Kevin De Bruyne from Wolfsburg should soften the blow, but probably won’t.
Aston Villa are in the market for Ajax and Denmark full-back Nicolai Boilesen. They’ve also thrown the Big Bodyswerve to see off Southampton, West Ham, Crystal Palace and Marseille in the £9m race for Lille midfielder Idrissa Gueye. Something of a coup for Villa, that, especially as Saints were able to offer Gueye a guaranteed starting place at Anfield for the 2016-17 season.
Everton are going all out for aesthetics. They’ve already landed Gerard Deulofeu and Tom Cleverley, and now they’re going for Internazionale winger Xherdan Shaqiri and Napoli wingman Dries Mertens too. Stoke were interested in Shaqiri, but may turn their attentions to Yevhen Konoplyanka instead. The Dnipro winger is already talking to Atlético Madrid and Sevilla, so Mark Hughes wants to get a wriggle on.
Robin van Persie is yesterday’s man at Manchester United. This news broke 18 months ago, but the bit about him moving to Besiktas is all new. Just to define our terms, “all new” being at least less than one month old. Maybe two months. Meanwhile United have presented Bayern Munich with a “package worth £120m” for striker Thomas Müller. The Mill very much hopes this is some sort of financial offer, and not Louis van Gaal making another of his grand, emotional gestures utilising the contents of his pocket as a prop.
More transfer frustration for Crystal Palace and West Ham, still reeling from Tim Sherwood’s saucy shimmy of a few paragraphs ago. They both want, but are not getting, Loic Remy. Palace will console themselves with QPR’s Charlie Austin, while the Hammers make do with Dynamo Kiev defender Aleksandar Dragovic.
Life also deals Southampton, similarly snubbed in paragraph two, blow after blow. They’re desperate to secure Toby Alderweireld on a permanent deal, but their old transfer nemesis Tottenham Hotspur - kids, think Liverpool, but even less successful - are in with a late bid.
And that’s your lot for today. Not a bad haul, all told, especially when you consider that the folk who usually make this stuff up are all swanning around Wimbledon, or on a beach somewhere eating oysters from the half shell.
And a wag-ish type creature....
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