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Zero sauce. Coupla City mentions you'll need to dig for, and a lot of repetition. They say that's the key to learning, so wise up people. Enjoy.

JUL 01
Manchester City turn attention to Napoli striker Hamsik
6:05a ET

Napoli midfielder Marek Hamsik is thought to be a target for Manchester City.

Manchester United will only increase their bid for Sergio Ramos if Real Madrid agree to do the same for David De Gea.

Stoke goalkeeper Asmir Begovic has his heart set on moving to Chelsea even if he is second choice behind Thibaut Courtois.

Arsenal have withdrawn their interest in Arturo Vidal and Morgan Schnedierlin. Arsene Wenger was tracking the duo but now may decide against signing another midfielder.

Rickie Lambert has accepted his Liverpool future is out of his hands as West Brom step up their pursuit of the striker.

Manchester City face the prospect of losing out on two of their major summer transfer targets Kevin de Bruyne and Paul Pogba, who are set to reject moves to the Etihad Stadium.

Arsenal are in talks with Galatasaray over the sale of Lukas Podolski.

QPR's Leroy Fer is a target for Sevilla.

Eder is poised to complete his £5m move from Sporting Braga to Swansea.

Stoke will move for Udinese's Emmanuel Agyemang-Badu if Steven N'Zonzi leaves.

Crystal Palace boss Alan Pardew could be reunited with Yohan Cabaye after Paris Saint-Germain made it clear they are ready to sell the midfielder.
Arda Turan wants to join Chelsea in a £29m deal this summer. The Atletico Madrid playmaker has previously admitted his agent is in talks with "three or four" clubs.

Everton are keen on signing Xherdan Shaqiri from Inter Milan where it is believed he is not part of their first-team plans.
Crystal Palace, West Ham and Marseille are all interested in Lille midfielder Idrissa Gueye.

Aston Villa have launched a bid to sign out-of-contract Leicester midfielder Esteban Cambiasso.

Ashley Young has agreed a new three-year Manchester United contract worth £120,000 a week.

Manchester City boss Manuel Pellegrini is ready to launch a £20m bid for Napoli star Marek Hamsik.

Watford's new manager Quique Sanchez Flores is aiming high and targeting a place in Europe.

Steve McClaren will take his first Newcastle training session still waiting for his first new signings.

Sebastian Coates is set to make his loan move from Sunderland to Liverpool a permanent deal.

Crystal Palace are in talks with PSG about signing Yohan Cabaye.

Gareth Bale and Aaron Ramsey have both welcomed UEFA's decision to award the Champions League final to the Millennium Stadium.

David de Gea wants to finalise his move to Real Madrid before Manchester United return to pre-season training next Monday.

FA chairman Greg Dyke believes the England Women's team can leave a lasting legacy on football if they win the Women's World Cup.

Manchester City face a battle to secure their top two midfield targets with Kevin De Bruyne set to stay at Wolfsburg and Paul Pogba wanted by Barcelona.

Ronald Koeman believes Southampton can beat Tottenham to the signature of Toby Alderweireld.

Stoke are close to completing the £4.4m signing of Udinese's Ghana midfielder Emmanuel Agyemang-Badu.

Manuel Pellegrini is on a collision course with Manchester City's owners and the club are still looking to bring in Pep Guardiola.

Alexis Sanchez has pleaded with Arsene Wenger to sign Chile international Arturo Vidal.

Dundee United will hold out for £1.5m for in-demand striker Nadir Ciftci after rejecting a £900,000 bid from Celtic.

Newcastle boss Steve McClaren has been told to bid about £30m if he wants to sign Wolfsburg striker Bas Dost this summer.

Southampton boss Ronald Koeman is confident Toby Alderweireld will remain at St Mary's next season.

Arsenal and Chelsea have been handed a huge boost in their pursuit of Alexandre Lacazette after his agent confirmed he wants to leave Lyon.

Radamel Falcao has already agreed to join Chelsea and will complete a season-long loan from Monaco later this week.

Chelsea have wasted little time in trying to find a replacement for Petr Cech with a £6m bid made for Asmir Begovic.

Cheers

It's been the 1st in England for hours, where are the fucking signings?

No to Hamsik, he has not had a decent game in 2yrs, Bang Average and not better than anything we have or coming through.

small bollox compared to chinner's boulders but appreciate the effort

bigblue wrote:small bollox compared to chinner's boulders but appreciate the effort

A Sterling effort.

Smooth bollox Mike x

Top effort by Doomie !

Ashley Young signing on for another 3 years with the rags ....... fucking awesome news , him and Phil Jones are world class a aren't they ? pmsl

New Watford manager aiming for Europe ! What a bell end , that's them relegated already then lol

Where is the WAG? U can't have bollox without a WAG.

City64 wrote:Top effort by Doomie !

Ashley Young signing on for another 3 years with the rags ....... fucking awesome news , him and Phil Jones are world class a aren't they ? pmsl

New Watford manager aiming for Europe ! What a bell end , that's them relegated already then lol

To be fair to the Watford boss, they had five managers last year, so he knows he is unlikely to still be there at Christmas. Maybe the aiming for Europe was a personal thing, in looking for another job?

South Stand Balti wrote:Where is the WAG? U can't have bollox without a WAG.

Knock yourself out

Spoiler: Show/Hide

Spoilbox

nottsblue wrote:

City64 wrote:Top effort by Doomie !

Ashley Young signing on for another 3 years with the rags ....... fucking awesome news , him and Phil Jones are world class a aren't they ? pmsl

New Watford manager aiming for Europe ! What a bell end , that's them relegated already then lol

To be fair to the Watford boss, they had five managers last year, so he knows he is unlikely to still be there at Christmas. Maybe the aiming for Europe was a personal thing, in looking for another job?

Maybe or maybe he is a proper knob lol

Fine. A timely WAG. Syd Leroux. Forward USA. You'd get forward with her, wouldn't you.

DoomMerchant wrote:Fine. A timely WAG. Syd Leroux. Forward USA. You'd get forward with her, wouldn't you.

You're breaking the rules Doomers. The pic should be of the footballer's significant other. I demand a pic of a scantily clad spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend.

Foreverinbluedreams wrote:

DoomMerchant wrote:Fine. A timely WAG. Syd Leroux. Forward USA. You'd get forward with her, wouldn't you.

You're breaking the rules Doomers. The pic should be of the footballer's significant other. I demand a pic of a scantily clad spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend.

Is that not Cheeky, with her?

iwasthere2012 wrote:

Foreverinbluedreams wrote:

DoomMerchant wrote:Fine. A timely WAG. Syd Leroux. Forward USA. You'd get forward with her, wouldn't you.

You're breaking the rules Doomers. The pic should be of the footballer's significant other. I demand a pic of a scantily clad spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend.

Is that not Cheeky, with her?

If it is then I for one think he's doing a splendid job.

Btw, someone needs to tell Sydney that some child has drawn all over her back, she must've fallen asleep whilst sunbathing

Foreverinbluedreams wrote:

DoomMerchant wrote:Fine. A timely WAG. Syd Leroux. Forward USA. You'd get forward with her, wouldn't you.

You're breaking the rules Doomers. The pic should be of the footballer's significant other. I demand a pic of a scantily clad spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend.

She's smokin. Break the rules more often Doomie

Manuel Pellegrini is on a collision course with Manchester City's owners and the club are still looking to bring in Pep Guardiola.

??????

The owners must be wanting to play 4-3-3 and Pellegrini must be wanting to play 3-3-4.

Phew, that's a real collision course........


A noteworthy effort, by the way, Mr Doominator. Keep up the good work old chum.

Cheers.

Wonderwall wrote:

South Stand Balti wrote:Where is the WAG? U can't have bollox without a WAG.

Knock yourself out

Spoiler: Show/Hide

Spoilbox

Lol. Not quite what I had in mind but it might suit others.

DoomMerchant wrote:Fine. A timely WAG. Syd Leroux. Forward USA. You'd get forward with her, wouldn't you.

That's more like it! You are now the new Chinners.

nottsblue wrote:

Foreverinbluedreams wrote:

DoomMerchant wrote:Fine. A timely WAG. Syd Leroux. Forward USA. You'd get forward with her, wouldn't you.

You're breaking the rules Doomers. The pic should be of the footballer's significant other. I demand a pic of a scantily clad spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend.

She's smokin. Break the rules more often Doomie

Steady on NB.

You might have to be careful because, with a name like that, she might be related to Danny.