The Little Things
Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 8:42 pmNot an overly serious thread. We're are one of the best teams in the country and do most things right every week. Our squad are all top class players and our coaching staff are champions. They will challenge for honours next season and beyond so cannot be criticised too harshly in the grand scheme of things.
However, despite this, each one does something little each week that gets me thinking why do you do that? Here's my list. . .
1) Joe Hart has yet to learn how to kick a long ball straight and find a teammate or when he does its Silva or Tevez.
2) David Silva has yet to realise he can use or learn to use his right foot
3) Our defenders and midfielders defend too deep allowing way too much space on the edge of the D for long shots to be lined up and hit
4) When one of our players goes off injured we take 5 minutes to bring on a replacement
5) David Platt's head. It's annoys me for some reason
6) Joe Hart parrying most shots back into 6 yard area instead of out for a corner or a throw in
7) Samir Nasri having no bottle or fight in physical games
8) Yaya Toure thinking tracking back is optional for central midfielder
9) Gareth Barry's turning circle
10) Apart from Clichy and Richards, the complete lack of pace throughout the team and the slowness we get from one end to the other
11) David Silva's inability to shoot when its easier to score and no other midfielder lining up to shoot from the edge of the box
12) Dzeko's lack of strength to hold the ball up despite being huge
13) Aguero thinking he can pass the ball through a defender rather than around him
15) Kolo Toure's silly per match ritual of stamping on the 18 yard/ byline angle.
16) Argentinean Wives. Seriously stop fucking around with our striker's heads
17) Mancini's after match interviews. Completely pointless
18) Joe Hart's absolute refusal to ever catch the ball and punch it approximately 5 yards into the danger zone
19) Not putting a couple of men on the line when defending corners
20) Gareth Barry always heading the ball straight to an opposing midfielder when in the centre circle
21) David Silva always hitting the first man on corners
22) James Milner always hitting the first man on corners
23) Alex Kolarov always over hitting his corners and out for a throw in
24) All our attackers making one pass too many inside the box instead of shooting
25) Our players shooting when there a defender is standing 6 inches away
26) The African Cup of Nations. Seriously fuck off playing it every year. No one cares
27) Starting the game too slowly and hardly ever scoring a goal in the first 15 minutes
28) Playing Javi Garcia at centre back instead of an actual centre back
29) Changing our defensive formation 3 times, usually in the second half, resulting in players not sure who they should pick up or where they should stand
30) Letting James Milner take a corner when he's playing right wing back but have no one cover his position for the eventual counter attack. See point 22
31) Lescott's long balls. Seriously why even bother trying
32) Substituting a defender for a defender when we need to win a game.
33) Joe Hart's head and shoulders. Just no
34) Clichy's crossing. Learn to cross to a teammate god damn it and you'll get 10 assists a season
35) Throw ins. Lets throw it to a teammates foot rather than their knee. Might help
36) Kolarov; you don't have to leather the ball every single time. Use the side of your foot occasionally
37) Kompany thinking he can win the ball every time when he just needs to shepherd the play instead of giving away a freekick
38) Silva, Nasri and Dzeko not playing to the whistle when they think they are fouled in or around the centre circle
39) Sinclair playing less than 5 minutes every third game
40) Nastasic's defencing position on incoming crosses. Too much space given away by defending too deep
41) Richard's dives in the penalty box. Cringe.
42) Static players. Make some space, make some runs. Just stop standing behind that defender
43) Not clearing first time. Why does it take our defenders two or three attempts to whack the ball forward instead of nervously slicing it 10 yards straight into the air
44) Kolo Toure's arse. Way too big for a pro footballer
45) Short corners between Silva and Nasri. Stop wasting everyone's time
46) Dzeko; you are allowed to jump for a header you know
47) Mancini's hair. It needs a cut and some conditioning
48) Hardly seeing any goals at the South Stand end. The family stand see way more goal action. Their seasontickets should be double the price next year
49) That one trick that Kolarov knows and insists on doing at least once in the game mostly when he doesn't even need to do it
50) Dzeko, Silva or Aguero doing some amazing piece of skill to avoid 3 players only to kick it straight out play from an easy pass
Add your little pet hates to the list :-)
However, despite this, each one does something little each week that gets me thinking why do you do that? Here's my list. . .
1) Joe Hart has yet to learn how to kick a long ball straight and find a teammate or when he does its Silva or Tevez.
2) David Silva has yet to realise he can use or learn to use his right foot
3) Our defenders and midfielders defend too deep allowing way too much space on the edge of the D for long shots to be lined up and hit
4) When one of our players goes off injured we take 5 minutes to bring on a replacement
5) David Platt's head. It's annoys me for some reason
6) Joe Hart parrying most shots back into 6 yard area instead of out for a corner or a throw in
7) Samir Nasri having no bottle or fight in physical games
8) Yaya Toure thinking tracking back is optional for central midfielder
9) Gareth Barry's turning circle
10) Apart from Clichy and Richards, the complete lack of pace throughout the team and the slowness we get from one end to the other
11) David Silva's inability to shoot when its easier to score and no other midfielder lining up to shoot from the edge of the box
12) Dzeko's lack of strength to hold the ball up despite being huge
13) Aguero thinking he can pass the ball through a defender rather than around him
15) Kolo Toure's silly per match ritual of stamping on the 18 yard/ byline angle.
16) Argentinean Wives. Seriously stop fucking around with our striker's heads
17) Mancini's after match interviews. Completely pointless
18) Joe Hart's absolute refusal to ever catch the ball and punch it approximately 5 yards into the danger zone
19) Not putting a couple of men on the line when defending corners
20) Gareth Barry always heading the ball straight to an opposing midfielder when in the centre circle
21) David Silva always hitting the first man on corners
22) James Milner always hitting the first man on corners
23) Alex Kolarov always over hitting his corners and out for a throw in
24) All our attackers making one pass too many inside the box instead of shooting
25) Our players shooting when there a defender is standing 6 inches away
26) The African Cup of Nations. Seriously fuck off playing it every year. No one cares
27) Starting the game too slowly and hardly ever scoring a goal in the first 15 minutes
28) Playing Javi Garcia at centre back instead of an actual centre back
29) Changing our defensive formation 3 times, usually in the second half, resulting in players not sure who they should pick up or where they should stand
30) Letting James Milner take a corner when he's playing right wing back but have no one cover his position for the eventual counter attack. See point 22
31) Lescott's long balls. Seriously why even bother trying
32) Substituting a defender for a defender when we need to win a game.
33) Joe Hart's head and shoulders. Just no
34) Clichy's crossing. Learn to cross to a teammate god damn it and you'll get 10 assists a season
35) Throw ins. Lets throw it to a teammates foot rather than their knee. Might help
36) Kolarov; you don't have to leather the ball every single time. Use the side of your foot occasionally
37) Kompany thinking he can win the ball every time when he just needs to shepherd the play instead of giving away a freekick
38) Silva, Nasri and Dzeko not playing to the whistle when they think they are fouled in or around the centre circle
39) Sinclair playing less than 5 minutes every third game
40) Nastasic's defencing position on incoming crosses. Too much space given away by defending too deep
41) Richard's dives in the penalty box. Cringe.
42) Static players. Make some space, make some runs. Just stop standing behind that defender
43) Not clearing first time. Why does it take our defenders two or three attempts to whack the ball forward instead of nervously slicing it 10 yards straight into the air
44) Kolo Toure's arse. Way too big for a pro footballer
45) Short corners between Silva and Nasri. Stop wasting everyone's time
46) Dzeko; you are allowed to jump for a header you know
47) Mancini's hair. It needs a cut and some conditioning
48) Hardly seeing any goals at the South Stand end. The family stand see way more goal action. Their seasontickets should be double the price next year
49) That one trick that Kolarov knows and insists on doing at least once in the game mostly when he doesn't even need to do it
50) Dzeko, Silva or Aguero doing some amazing piece of skill to avoid 3 players only to kick it straight out play from an easy pass
Add your little pet hates to the list :-)