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Thursday's B*l**x (updated)

PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 8:13 am
by Chinners
THE BOLLOX
Guid us to safety! Sunderland line up loan deal for Man City striker Guidetti
Struggling Black Cats want to give young Swede who starred when farmed out to Feyenoord last season a chance to prove he can produce in the Prem
Sunderland boss Martin O’Neill wants Manchester City starlet John Guidetti to join his strugglers on loan.
O’Neill is keen to agree a deal with City for the Swedish striker, who has been out for months with injury but will be fit for the winter transfer market.
Guidetti is looking to stay in the Premier League to prove to City he can play for them in the future.
O’Neill has been told he has funds for new additions, but Guidetti would bring a new dimension to his side without costing a fortune.
The 20-year-old was a big hit at Dutch side Feyenoord during a year-long loan last season, and now wants to prove he can cut it in the English top flight.
Guidetti, initially signed by City on the recommendation of their former boss Sven-Goran Eriksson, reckons he can be a starter for Roberto Mancini's club next season.

CITY BOARD TELL MANCINI TO WIN TITLE OR YOU’RE OUT
MANCHESTER CITY boss Roberto Mancini will have to win the Premier League this season to safeguard his job.
But if Mancini fails to win back-to-back titles and is sacked the Blues will NOT turn to Jose Mourinho to replace him.
Mancini is feeling the heat in the wake of his side’s humiliating exit from the Champions League this week, with speculation about his future mounting.
The Blues have been left reeling after finishing bottom of Group G and crashing out of Europe altogether after failing to even secure a place in the Europa League.
Starsport understands Mancini must now defend the league title to guarantee he won’t be sacked.
The Italian will be on trial between now and the summer and must prove he can still get the best out of his star-studded squad and land big trophies.
And if the Blues falter and concede the title to Manchester United or one of their other main rivals then the club’s billionaire owners are expected to show him the door.
But Mourinho has been told to forget about replacing him at the Etihad Stadium as the ‘Special One’ plots his return to English football.
The former Chelsea boss will quit Real Madrid at the end of this season after falling out with fans who are unhappy that Real are 11 points behind arch-rivals Barcelona in La Liga.
Real president Florentino Perez is concerned about the unrest at the Bernabeu and has seen his relationship with Mourinho become strained.
But any hopes Mourinho had of becoming the next Blues boss have been dashed, with the club deciding he isn’t suitable.
It is understood new director of football Tixi Begiristain is not prepared to work with Mourinho and has convinced the club’s Abu Dhabi owners he would be the wrong appointment.
Begiristain interviewed Mourinho for the vacant manager’s job at Barca in 2008 but turned him down in favour of Pep Guardiola.
This was despite the fact that Mourinho compiled a huge dossier on the Barca squad, himself and his vision for success at the Nou Camp.
Mourinho went on to replace Mancini at Inter Milan and to win an unprecedented Treble with the Italian giants, including a 2010 Champions League triumph.
Yet despite Mourinho’s incredible success, Begiristain reckons the Portuguese ace is too unpredictable, aggressive and selfish and could not be trusted to honour a huge contract at City.
The remarkable snub reduces Mourinho’s options as he hankers for a return to England and could increase his chances of succeeding Sir Alex Ferguson at Manchester United.
He could even make a dramatic return to Chelsea.
United know Mourinho would guarantee continued success and he could handle the pressure of replacing Fergie.
Such a move would also clear the way for City and Chelsea to battle it out for Guardiola.
Meanwhile, AC Milan are considering a move for City bad boy Mario Balotelli in the January transfer market.
Milan president Silvio Berlusconi has admitted he wants to sign the Italian striker.
And manager Massimiliano Allegri said: “He has extraordinary physical and technical qualities. We will see what happens in January.”

Jose? No way! Manchester City chiefs don't want Mourinho as next manager
Mancini MUST retain the title to keep his job after Euro flop but Blues' former Barcelona bigwigs would snub Special One - just like they did in 2008
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Manchester City have sensationally ruled out a summer move for Real Madrid boss Jose Mourinho - even if Roberto Mancini gets the sack.
Mancini MUST now retain the Premier League title to safeguard his job following City’s shambolic Champions League campaign, according to senior figures at the club.
City failed to win any of their six games in the competition and amassed just three points, missing out on a Europa League spot as they finished bottom of Group D - the worst group-phase display by an English club in the competition's history.
That failure has increased the pressure on Mancini to hold on to the title City won last season, with the 48-year-old Italian’s future once again the subject of fresh scrutiny.
But even if Mancini does lose his job, City have ruled out a move to appoint Mourinho - despite the likelihood of the Special One leaving Real Madrid at the end of this season.
City's chief executive Ferran Soriano and sporting director Txiki Begiristain chose not to appoint Mourinho as Barcelona boss in 2008 when they worked for the Nou Camp giants, after interviewing him for the vacant role.
The pair cited the former Chelsea manager's aggressive attitude as their reason for not hiring him and instead chose Pep Guardiola, who led the club to 14 trophies in his four-year spell in charge.
Soriano and Begiristain are said to still have reservations about Mourinho’s style and combative personality, despite his subsequent successes at Inter Milan and Real, which is why he has no chance of taking over at Eastlands.
That leaves former Barca boss Guardiola in pole position should Mancini fail to retain the title and the club’s Abu Dhabi owners decide a change at the top is required.
Guardiola, 41, is living in New York with his family, having decided to take a year-long break from football after quitting Barca at the end of last season.
The Spaniard, one of football’s most highly-regarded coaches and also linked with Paris Saint-Germain, is wanted at Chelsea by owner Roman Abramovich, but has resisted efforts to lure him to Stamford Bridge.
City’s loss to Borussia Dortmund on Tuesday confirmed them as the worst-performing English club in the competition’s history, falling short of Blackburn’s meagre haul of four points in 1995-96.

Man City: Scott Sinclair happy to wait for first-team chance
Scott Sinclair is prepared to wait for his chance at Manchester City, having struggled for first-team football since his move from Swansea in August.
Roberto Mancini handed the 23-year-old winger only his third start for City in their 1-0 Champions League defeat against Borussia Dortmund on Tuesday.
"I knew when I came to City that it was going to be a patient waiting game for myself," he told BBC Radio Manchester.
"When I do get the chances, I've got to go out there and show what I can do."
Sinclair cost an initial fee of £6.2m on the final day of the transfer window.
He began the Premier League games against Stoke and Arsenal in September, but then had failed to appear in the starting line-up until Tuesday's loss in Germany.
The 1-0 defeat condemned the English champions to the bottom of their Champions League group and confirmed they would not feature in the Europa League in the new year.
The former Chelsea youngster said City's European exit is a disappointment and believes that will only make the squad more determined to retain their Premier League crown.
"All the players have a winning mentality. Every game we play, we want to win," added Sinclair.
"We're all disappointed but we've got to move on and concentrate on the Premier League."
City remain unbeaten in the league this season, but lie second in the table, three points behind leaders Manchester United.
The two title contenders meet in the first Manchester derby of the season at the Etihad Stadium on Sunday.
Meanwhile, young Dutch defender Karim Rekik has signed a new long-term deal with the club.
He made two substitute appearances in the League Cup last season, as well as playing eight times in the Championship during a loan spell with Portsmouth.

Alex Ferguson says victory against Manchester City would be one of his sides best ever results
Alex Ferguson says victory against Manchester City on Sunday would be one of his side's "best ever results".
The Premier League leaders travel to the Etihad Stadium three points clear of City, whose European adventure ended in midweek after finishing bottom of their Champions League group.
Ferguson also expressed concern over his fragile defence and challenged his side to learn from their error-strewn display at Reading last weekend.
"If we win it will be one of our best ever results," Ferguson told MUTV.
"They are a really good, powerful team with massive players.
"It won't be easy and if we defend like we did at Reading we'll be in trouble.
"The important thing for us is to take lessons from the mistakes we're making and do something about it. We need to find a solution."

RAGARSE XMAS WISH LIST BOLLOX - Joe Hart to Man Utd?
Okay okay so the title suggests I’m about to reveal I have inside information on what would be an unbelievable scoop but honestly I don’t and I’m not, so please, before you jump down my throat, hear me out and realise this is all hypothetical.
There’s been a lot said in recent times regarding the rotation of players at United and how it’s possibly to blame for some of the failings in the season so far, that, despite being top of the table and well ahead of closest rivals Citeh in the goals department; something I hope we’ve learned to concentrate on after last years disappointment.
The rotation of outfield players is one thing, but it would appear many Reds agree that the rotation of keepers is having a hugely adverse effect on the team, you only need to read a handful of the comments on @MUFC_dan87′s latest article which explores this exact topic to know this is true. With Lindegaard and De Gea sharing almost equal playing time thus far in the Premier League, and having remarkably similar (poor) stats to boot (see below), it’s difficult to conclude anything other.
It suggests to me Sir Alex honestly can’t decide who’s the best option or which to field against which opponent, not the greatest position to have got yourself into, after all, he’s spent £17M on de Gea only last year in the knowledge he was nowhere near the finished article and £3.5m on Lindegaard also with a view to the future. If he (SAF) had done that three years ago I could’ve understood, but to still do it despite being unable to convince Edwin van der Sar to stay another year, it was a gamble that doesn’t appear to be paying off.
For me de Gea is looking for a way out back to Spain and Lindegaard has a way to go until he’s United quality.
So where does Joe Hart come in to all this?
Well, I get the feeling all’s not well over at the Emptihad and Joe Hart’s the most likely of all Citeh players to A: be wanted by United, and B: the one player who genuinely looks like he’s in it for the love of the game and the challenge of filling his home full of medals, trophies and personal accolades rather than cash.
Footballers may be many things, but one thing they’re not, is blind.
Who (with the label of England’s best player in your position and without competition) wouldn’t want to give yourself the best possible chance to boast a cabinet similar to (arise Sir) Ryan Giggs – or – who would be prepared to watch on as other teams concentrate on football and success while your success hinges on the likes of Mario Balotelli? Hart strikes me as someone who despises the type of player Citeh are attracting right now and has the desire to become the best….with the best.
In the summer I predicted there was unrest at Citeh and season 12/13 had another ‘Tevez-esque’ fiasco just around the corner. I couldn’t commit to nailing down any one specific player but pointed towards Balotelli, Lescott or Dzeko as the ones to watch for various reasons. The tactical inclusion and subsequent subbing of Dzeko and Tevez last weekend was proof to me that Mancini’s having to work harder than ever to keep his troops restful, satisfied and, more importantly, quiet.
After Citeh’s home defeat to Real Madrid I watched that Joe Hart interview and thought ‘hhhmmmm, I just wonder!’
After listening to Hart’s similar post match comments last night….I thought it again! Maybe it’s Joe Hart who’s about to turn Citeh’s season upside-down?
Apart from one ill thought out prank of flashing a shit-load of twenty pound notes at photographers from a black cab last year, I don’t see Hart doing anything other than being a dedicated professional with maturity just on the horizon. I doubt too he has the patience to stay with a club whose squad is littered with ego’s more interested in bickering and financial gain rather than their own personal trophy haul; especially when its to the detriment of Champions League points.
Roy Keane reckons Hart’s got cocky and he may have a point. Hart’s recent performances have dipped without question compared to the standard he consistently achieved last season, but that doesn’t make him any less of a keeper, it just means there’s something not right and he needs to regain his focus. If that is the case, a move away from Citeh could be just the ticket, and at United there would be no room for cockiness.
I reckon – if United make the right noises, Hart possesses that ruthless, self believing presence & confidence that would allow him to say ‘ya know what, I think I just might’ when offered the chance to jump ship, hop in his 4×4 and make his way the short distance across town to Old Trafford, a place I’m sure he’d make his own in much the same way a certain Mr Schmeichel did.
Whether Citeh would do business with us is a factor I’d rather no broker into this(!), but if they did [because Hart left them with no choice], it would give me great satisfaction and United a great, great keeper to solve what is gradually becoming a worrying situation for us.
Anyway, like I said, it’s all hypothetical BUT…..if it were to happen…..you heard it here first!

Editors note: Yes all to hypathetic and wishful hoping for the problems he suggests are occuring ... feck off redtwat

Fernando Torres: Giving ‘Super Mario’ An Extra Life
As the world witnessed yet another display of petulance, arrogance & ignorance from Mario Balotelli, should the Manchester City forward be saying a big thank you to Fernando Torres?
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As a mis-firing £50million striker leading the attack of a massively dysfunctional club, it’s perfectly acceptable that the performance on the park from Chelsea’s number 9 is questioned. BUT should ‘Super Mario‘ and his sub-standard performances not be highlighted and commented on too?
Starting with our fallen hero Nando, if we look at this through EPL eyes, he served a great apprenticeship with Atlético Madrid scoring 91 goals in 243 games. The blonde bombshell then secured a move to his ‘boyhood heros’ Liverpool for around £20million with Garcia moving in the other direction. In his first season at Anfield he broke several long standing goal scoring records and become an instant darling to ‘The Kop’. In his first 3 season on Merseyside, he was definitely in the Pantheon of the Worlds top strikers…a claim Mario 1.) Wants 2.) Thinks he should have…But on performance, will never reach.
Torres is now burdened with a £50 million price tag, Roman’s new play thing. These are labels that he won’t lose until he leaves Chelsea or they could possibly haunt him for the rest of his career. When he arrived at Stamford Bridge his form and fitness were poor, but more so Chelsea’s style of football was based on the battering ram of a centre forward that is Drogba. Torres and Chelsea struggled to adapt whilst Didier was there but ‘The Blues’ were reliant on him to bail them out when Torres couldn’t do the same job. Now that Drogba has departed, both Torres and Chelsea have to change (& we know they are good for that, don’t we Robbie)
I believe there is a style of play that Chelsea can implement that can utillies the skill set of Torres. The Spaniard’s pace may be gone over 20-30 yards but over 5-10 he still has a fair burst, and his ability to pick the right pass is still as sharp as ever. What his team-mates need to do is be closer to him, making more energetic forward runs beyond him. Oscar, Hazard and, to a lesser extent, Mata, all prefer to be behind the ball. Only Rameries and Lampard are players that run beyond the lone striker, even the wide players are not working as inside lefts or rights to offer closer support.
Evidence of the Chelsea players confusion was visible against West Ham at the weekend. Chelsea’s goal came from neat midfield passes, a short burst from Fernando leading to a clever inside pass and a great finish by Mata. I know this is to simplictic to cure all their ills but closer, neater movement with runners beyond the forwards are not happening often enough. This has resulted in Di Matteo been removed (very harshly), Chelsea slipping further behind in the league (its only December Roman) and Torres being touted as an expensive failure (ok that one might end up been correct).
Torres, for all his faults, continues to work hard for the team, unlike another striker in blue; Mario Balotelli!
The enigma that is Balotelli can be summed up in one simple words, EGO.When he wakes up in the morning, he’s the best. When he puts his ridiculous clothes on and goes to training, he’s the best. In his head, he’s the best….its just when he goes on the park, he’s not. He’s not even the best forward in the Manchester City team (please step up to the plate a bit more Sergio). Balotteli has proclaimed himself as good as Messi and Ronaldo, something no one should claim and that probably no one will reach. The Italian needs to be the centre of attention, he needs to be loved, he needs to be appreciated, he needs to be played……HE NEEDS TO GROW UP!!!!!
For all of Torres problems, being a team player is not one of them. Mario only plays for Mario, not the shirt on his back, not the fans in the stadium and certainly not for the manager that has been a supposed ‘father figure’ for him.
I have watched Balotelli many times throughout his time in England and his attitude, performance and work rate is below standard for a player that has three superb forwards ahead of him at City. He causes more problems for his team than solutions. Every pass that doesn’t reach him is someone else fault, his arms thrown up in the air in frustration but with no work rate to try and retrieve the situation.
During Manchester City’s final Champions League group match against Dortmund, Mario made an appearance late in the game. At the stage of his introduction, unless City defeated the Germans they were out of European competition all together. It could be argued that early elimination from Europe would bolster the clubs chances of retaining the EPL, but surely a European trophy (The Europa League) should still hold some esteem for a club that would have been installed as favourites if they dropped into it.
Mario was brought on after Tevez, Aguero and Edin Dzeko had all been preferred as more reliable options than our ‘world beater’ His contribution was poor, to say the least. The usual histrionics were all there to be seen.
1.) Feigning injury.
2.) Petulant displays of frustrations at your team mates.
3.) The expected booking for showing his disgust at not getting a decision his way. (The resulting booking was his main contribution to the game)
The display against Dortmund sums Mario Balotelli up. If it’s not going right for him, it’s always someone elses fault. There should always be someone else to take the blame. How can Super Mario be wrong?
Balotelli is not playing well, he’s not scoring goals and he’s not contributing to the defence of Manchester City’s league crown….So why isn’t there more criticism being levelled at the Italian?That’s where Torres comes into play.
If it wasn’t for Fernando, the spotlight would be firmly on ‘Super Mario‘ and sadly not for the reasons he would want.

[spoiler]Image[/spoiler]
Tottenham boss Andre Villas-Boas is set to make a fresh £24m bid for Porto midfielder Joao Moutinho, 26, after watching him play against Paris St-Germain on Tuesday. Daily Mirror

Arsenal are believed to have revived their interest in Montpellier captain and defender Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa, 23, following the French side's elimination from the Champions League. Metro

Liverpool have been linked with a £12m January move for CSKA Moscow midfielder Keisuke Honda, 26. Daily Star

Russian club Zenit St Petersburg are considering a move for Everton midfielder Marouane Fellaini, 25, in the January transfer window. The Sun

Chelsea have been alerted after Zenit St Petersburg striker Hulk, 26, revealed he is ready to walk out on the club after a touchline row with coach Luciano Spalletti. Metro

Arsenal defender Bacary Sagna, 29, looks set to leave the club in the summer, as he is unhappy with the Gunners' offer of a 12-month extension to his current deal. DSSC

Everton are set to fight Liverpool for the signature of England keeper Jack Butland, 19. Daily Star

Aston Villa have put an £18m price tag on striker Darren Bent, 28, as they try to recover most of the £24m they paid for him. DSSC

Real Madrid's Brazilian midfielder Kaka, 30, has admitted he may be on his way out in January after failing to force his way into Jose Mourinho's starting XI, with LA Galaxy understood to be interested. The Sun

Aston Villa, Newcastle and Norwich are all battling it out to sign Cluj winger Modou Sougou, 27. talkSHIT

Arsenal chief commercial officer Tom Fox says not winning a trophy in seven years has not hurt the club's brand as it is "defined by more than winning". Sport 360

Brentford sporting director Mark Warburton has emerged as the latest candidate in the race to replace Dan Ashworth in the same role at West Bromwich Albion. Ashworth is the FA's new director of elite development. Express & Star

Sunderland defender Wes Brown is set to make a comeback after chronic injury problems

Swansea are preparing to submit plans to expand Liberty Stadium by 12,000 seats. South Wales Evening Post

Sunderland defender Wes Brown, 33, is hoping his chronic injury problems are finally nearing an end as he closes in on another comeback attempt. Newcastle Chronicle

Tottenham winger Gareth Bale, 23, has been showing off his golf skills as he's caught on camera playing a trick shot. Metro

Re: Thursday's B*l**x

PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 9:22 am
by Dronny
Chinners my old mucka, that little spoil box selection proved you are not purely the King of Bollox..........hmmm, tissues, now where did I leave them

Re: Thursday's B*l**x

PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 9:37 am
by Chinners
You can borrow some of mine ... I'm generous like that

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Re: Thursday's B*l**x

PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 2:26 pm
by Swales4ever
Dronny wrote:Chinners my old mucka, that little spoil box selection proved you are not purely the King of Bollox..........hmmm, tissues, now where did I leave them

Too big for my taste, but.... what the hell do I know?

Top Rags Week press, though.

Chinners, You Twunt: will Your precious self at the Townley, some moment?.... Image Image

Re: Thursday's B*l**x (updated)

PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 2:31 pm
by Chinners
I will be at the Townley at some juncture on Sunday ...

Re: Thursday's B*l**x (updated)

PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 2:57 pm
by Sideshow Bob
wait, did they actually say WE snubbed HIM??? does that count as a -1 on the snub count?

Re: Thursday's B*l**x (updated)

PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 4:15 pm
by Dameerto
I hope it's true about Honda coming to the Prem, I can dust off my car jokes again.

Re: Thursday's B*l**x (updated)

PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 7:02 pm
by craigmcfc
I've overdosed

Re: Thursday's B*l**x (updated)

PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2012 8:48 am
by Dronny
Dameerto wrote:I hope it's true about Honda coming to the Prem, I can dust off my car jokes again.


Should that be start up your car jokes?