by Chinners » Sat Jun 19, 2010 6:58 pm
WORLD CUP REACTION BOLLOX
Unsurprisingly, the British newspapers had plenty to say following England's dismal 0-0 draw with Algeria in Cape Town and Wayne Rooney's moan after leaving the field to boos.
"Useless" (Daily Express)
"Cape Clowns" (Daily Mirror) and, for variety's sake, "Cape Fear" (the Sun)
"Roo blows fuse over boos" (the Sun), "Roo Boo Hoo" (Daily Mirror)
Goalless. Guileless. Graceless. (Independent)
Hang your head. (Daily Mail)
"Roo-boo-zela blows his top." the Sun
"England's flops are no longer fit to wear the shirt." Daily Mirror
"Never in the field of World Cup conflict has so little been offered by so few to say many (with apologies to Winston Churchill)."the Sun
"The side may now be galvanised by fear, but unless the excitement of the World Cup itself permeates mind and body there can only be a limp towards nondescript failure." the Guardian
"Last night England were the nation's collective worst nightmare, a sleepwalking shambles who are now third in group C and must face up to the prospect of World Cup elimination." Independent
"After the most tedious 90 minutes of the tournament it might be best for the beautiful game if England are put out of their misery as soon as possible." Daily Record
The Fans’ 5 Worst Pundits in the English Game bollox
Just over two weeks ago, I revealed my five least favourite football pundits. Unsurprisingly, several readers threw in their two cents, venting their collective spleens over the men they believe are responsible for hideous crimes against television and radio decency. According to the readers of footballfancast.com, the following five ‘experts’ shouldn’t be let anywhere near a camera or microphone…
5 – Joe Royle
Affectionately referred to as ‘Mr. Potato Head’ amongst a small section of Liverpool fans, ESPN’s decision to deploy the services of former Everton manager Joe Royle as a co-commentator adds further weight behind the argument that ‘Americans just don’t get football’. Royle is another man from the stable of ‘commentators who state the blatantly obvious’, although he also has a tendency to assert the ludicrous, having once stated that ‘speed’ is one of Emile Heskey’s qualities.
4 – Graham Taylor
Having annoyed the country for three years in the early 1990s with his pitiful work as England manager, Elton John’s best buddy has also built himself a reputation as a similarly rubbish co-commentator and pundit for the best part of the last six years. Like so many others, Taylor seldom deviates from stating the obvious, although Taylor seems to have turned said fault into an art-form. Speaking of a game featuring Arsenal, Taylor once stated “the thing Arsenal need to do here, is score a goal”. Thanks for clearing that one up Graham.
3 – Craig Burley
Hands up, who thought that the best thing about Setanta’s demise was the prospect of Craig Burley being removed entirely from our TV screens? Unfortunately, ESPN (Grrr, damn you again!) provided Burley with a route back into the punditry game, giving the nation the chance to hear more pearls of wisdom from the man with the missing teeth. Described by one forum poster as ‘the grumpiest man alive’, the former Chelsea man has additionally alluded to a lack of command over the English language, stating “Mark McGhee had the right word for the conditions – ‘not adept’” after a clash between Celtic and Motherwell was called off.
2 – Mark Lawrenson
Unlike former Liverpool teammate Alan Hansen, erratic former Eire international Mark Lawrenson has yet to provide the impression of a man with unquestionable, authoritative knowledge of football. The once moustachioed pundit/co-commentator frequently acts as if drunk on several pints of bitter, an illusion reinforced by his pathetic weekly Premier League score predictions on the BBC website. What’s more contemptible is Lawrenson’s proclivity for the cringeworthy ‘Dad/embarrassing uncle’ pun, as highlighted below.
“Much Adu about nothing.” (After USA international Freddy Adu came on as a substitute against England and misplaced a pass)
1 – Andy Gray
Part of television’s most ubiquitous commentary team (with the irrepressible Martin Tyler of course), Andy Gray has managed to become a figure of hate for a surprisingly large and passionate group of his detractors. Gray is allegedly anti-Liverpool, anti-Chelsea, anti-Tottenham, anti-Arsenal, whilst apparently being pro-Everton, pro-Manchester United, pro-Fernando Torres, pro-Wayne Rooney and pro-Steven Gerrard (phew!). Perceived sense of bias aside, the man responsible for coining the oft-mocked phrase ‘tikkaboo son!’ has suffered several bouts of verbal diarrhoea in his time narrating the game. The following quotes attest to this assertion.
“It’s what I call one of those ‘indefensible ones’ – you can’t defend against them.”
“People say footballers have terrible taste in music but I would dispute that. In the car at the moment I’ve got The Corrs, Cher, Phil Collins, Shania Twain and Rod Stewart.”
Bolton leading the way for Petrov
Martin Petrov is very much in demand since being released by Manchester City but Bolton are reported to be ahead of Aston Villa, Everton and West Ham in the chase for his signature.
Bulgarian Petrov spent three years at the City of Manchester Stadium after they paid Atletico Madrid £4.7 million for his services in July 2007. He went on to play in 59 Premier League games for City and scored nine goals for them.
He never appeared to figure in the plans once Roberto Mancini replaced Mark Hughes as manager and it was no surprise when they decided against offering him a new deal at the end of the season.
He didn't feature at all after February but news that he's a free agent has alerted clubs in a number of European countries. Petrov has indicated that he'd prefer to remain in England and is set to have a medical at Bolton.
It seems that the deal is still some way off but he's a player Owen Coyle is very keen to bring in as he builds his own squad of players.
Manchester City Prepare €24 Million Offer For Inter Striker Mario Balotelli
Mancini wants Balotelli, but Inter will only sell if they get Tevez...
Manchester City have upscaled their interest in Mario Balotelli by faxing Inter an initial €24 million offer, according to Il Corriere dello Sport.
Roberto Mancini is hopeful he can land the 19-year-old Italian hitman, but in return, the Nerazzurri want Carlos Tevez who is admired by Rafael Benitez.
However, Mancini is not prepared to sell the Argentinean hot-shot, leaving Inter to keep a strong hold on Balotelli.
It seems the Italians will only sell their man if City guarantee they will get Tevez.
Despite the report, Balotelli's agent Mino Raiola said the Citizens have not made any official contact with him, but was unable to confirm whether Inter had received an offer.
"No-one from City has contacted me and I have never spoken with any directors from the English club. If they want Balotelli, they will let me know about it."