Saturday's B*ll*x

[Chinners]

United and City to battle it out for Italian defender Chiellini
The agent of Italian World Cup defender Giorgio Chiellini claims Manchester United and Manchester City both want him.
Sir Alex Ferguson is reportedly tracking Chiellini as a replacement for Nemanja Vidic should the Serb quit Old Trafford this summer.
And the player's representative Davide Lippi says City are also interested in the centre-half.
"Manchester United?" said Lippi. "It's a club of great importance and we particularly like that.
"We are honoured to be at Juventus and to have attracted interest from clubs like United and Real.
"I don't doubt that Manchester City and Real Madrid are also following the footsteps of Chiellini.
"With Giorgio we have decided not to talk about the market until after the World Cup, then we will reflect on everything.
Lippi claims Chiellini is unsettled in Turin because Juventus are reluctant to give him parity with the club's top earners.
"Giorgio has signed a contract with Juventus two years ago, when he was young, and he has now enjoyed two great seasons and reached a top level," said Lippi.
"It is time for Chiellini to have the contract of a top player.
"We have talked of renewing, but not with the new board. They don't seem to be in any hurry to lock down a key man like Giorgio.
"For now everything is on hold, but we will see."

Man City to offer Spain star massive £40m wage deal to move to Eastlands
Manchester City will offer David Silva an eye-watering £160,000-a-week to move to Eastlands.
As City finalise the £25million capture of Yaya Toure from Barcelona, they have also stepped up their efforts to entice Silva from Valencia.
The Spain winger was understood to be cool initially on City's interest and was said to prefer a move to either Barca or Real Madrid.
However, he is now warming towards the Blues, having spoken to his international team-mates at the World Cup about Roberto Mancini's side.
City CEO Garry Cook has done the groundwork for the deal in face-to-face talks with Valencia president Manuel Llorente in Spain, although he has yet to submit a formal offer.
The debt-ridden Spanish club hope to start the bidding at £30million and City are understood to be considering £25million as their opening gambit.
Chelsea are also keen on Silva and City are determined not to be beaten if a bidding war breaks out.
Personal terms will not be a problem either and City will offer Silva a five-year deal worth a staggering £40million.
The Blues are prepared to take their time over the negotiations and do not want to distract Silva after Spain lost their opening World Cup game to Switzerland.
Toure's transfer is much closer to completion and City are speaking to the Ivory Coast midfielder's camp after agreeing to the deal in principle with Barca.
Toure has publicly stated his desire to move to the Premier League and play alongside big brother and City skipper Kolo.
Toure and Silva would be part of a new-look £85million midfield as City remain keen on England and Aston Villa winger James Milner.
Shaun Wright-Phillips could be one of the main victims of Mancini's transfer blitz and the City boss will listen to offers for the England winger, who has failed to win a regular place under the Italian.

Agent insists Manchester City are in pole position to sign CSKA Moscow's Milos KrasicSerb could be on his way to Eastlands after Juventus deal falls through...
The agent of CSKA Moscow star Milos Krasic has claimed Manchester City are now in the driving seat to sign his client after a potential move to Juventus fell through.
Juve had been odds on favourites to capture the Serbia international although with the Turin outfit on the verge of completing the signing of Catania's Jorge Martinez, Krasic's agent insists the Serie A giants are now out of the running for the talented midfielder.
"The deal with Juventus is closed," Vlado Borozan told Tuttomercatoweb.com. "After Martinez the Bianconeri cannot also bring in Krasic.
"Now the most likely club is Manchester City, even though the footballer has said he wants to play in Italy."
Krasic produced a stand-out performance at World Cup 2010 on Friday afternoon as Serbia claimed a surprise 1-0 victory over Germany.
The 25-year-old winger helped create the only goal of the game converted by Milan Jovanovic and has previously excelled in the Champions League last season for Russian club CSKA Moscow.
With Citizens' boss Roberto Mancini set to splash the cash this summer to improve his squad for a potential assault on the Premier League title, a move for Krasic now seems more than a realistic possibility.

TRANSFER BOLLOX
Liverpool midfielder Javier Mascherano is keen for a £25m to Inter Milan, describing manager Rafael Benitez, who made the move from Anfield to the San Siro earlier this month - as his teacher. Full story: Daily Star

Midfielder Steven Sidwell will consider a move from Aston Villa to Fulham - but only if Roy Hodgson remains manager at Craven Cottage. Sidwell, 27, was a bit-part player at Villa Park last season. the Sun

Blackburn Rovers boss Sam Allardyce fears he may miss out on signing Real Madrid midfielder Guti on a free transfer. Allardyce is keen on the 33-year-old, but has made signing a striker his top priority. Daily Mirror

West Ham and Birmingham are set to battle for Fulham left-back Paul Konchesky, 29, who has a year of his contract remaining.Daily Mirror

Chelsea are close to signing Sigma Olomouc centre-back Tomas Kalas for £5m, beating off competition from Arsenal and Serie A clubs. (Daily Express)

Manchester United midfielder Anderson is wanted by French champions Marseille. The 22-year-old Brazilian ruptured the cruciate ligament in his left knee in February, having struggled to secure a first-team spot at Old Trafford. Daily Mail

Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp is keen on bringing Werder Bremen winger Marko Marin to White Hart Lane. The 21-year-old Yugoslavia-born star is currently on World Cup duty for Germany. CaughtOffside.com

Arsenal and Manchester United are keeping tabs on Borussia Dortmund's 21-year-old Serbian Neven Subotic with the highly-rated defender valued at £25m. footylatest.com

Inter Milan's new boss Rafael Benitez is planning a raid on his former club by luring England defender Glen Johnson away from Anfield.footylatest.com


OTHER BOLLOX
New Portsmouth boss Steve Cotterill has revealed how Harry Redknapp persuaded him to take on the Fratton Park role. "I spoke to him and he said to go for it. He said Portsmouth was a fantastic club, with great fans and thought I would do well there.''
Full story: Daily Mirror

A woman who ruptured her throat at a vuvuzela-blowing contest is recovering well. (Daily Express)

[john@staustell]

Nice to see 160 grand a week is making Silva 'warm to' us.

[Curlie]

Its great to see how far we have come in the transfer stakes.
It is only a couple of season ago we were linked with the likes of Sidwell and Konchesky.

[john@staustell]

AS is floating the possibility of Santa Cruz going to Valencia as part of the Silva deal. Valencia are still looking for strikers and wont pay Real Mallorca the €5M they want for 29 year old Aduriz.

Wont be anywhere near the value we paid for him of course!

[Ted Hughes]

Guti playing for Fat Sam would be funny. What a shock it'd be for him; watching the ball sail over his fucking head.

[Dameerto]

Some breaking bollox, Maicon is apparently on the move according to his ITK landlord, though he doesn't know where. http://www.imscouting.com/global-news-a ... ilan/8386/

[Trautmann]

A woman who ruptured her throat at a vuvuzela-blowing contest is recovering well. (Daily Express)
Pity. Could use about 20,000 more ruptures

[Fesan]

Things are finally starting to heat up!:-) With the capture of Toure and Silva we might see a truly big-name player come in as those two signings are a big sign of intent IMO:-)

[craigmcfc]

A woman who ruptured her throat at a vuvuzela-blowing contest is recovering well. (Daily Express)

Hahaha. Shame. Is that even a proper injury?

[Chinners]

WORLD CUP REACTION BOLLOX
Unsurprisingly, the British newspapers had plenty to say following England's dismal 0-0 draw with Algeria in Cape Town and Wayne Rooney's moan after leaving the field to boos.

"Useless" (Daily Express)

"Cape Clowns" (Daily Mirror) and, for variety's sake, "Cape Fear" (the Sun)

"Roo blows fuse over boos" (the Sun), "Roo Boo Hoo" (Daily Mirror)

Goalless. Guileless. Graceless. (Independent)

Hang your head. (Daily Mail)

"Roo-boo-zela blows his top." the Sun

"England's flops are no longer fit to wear the shirt." Daily Mirror

"Never in the field of World Cup conflict has so little been offered by so few to say many (with apologies to Winston Churchill)."the Sun

"The side may now be galvanised by fear, but unless the excitement of the World Cup itself permeates mind and body there can only be a limp towards nondescript failure." the Guardian

"Last night England were the nation's collective worst nightmare, a sleepwalking shambles who are now third in group C and must face up to the prospect of World Cup elimination." Independent

"After the most tedious 90 minutes of the tournament it might be best for the beautiful game if England are put out of their misery as soon as possible." Daily Record

The Fans’ 5 Worst Pundits in the English Game bollox
Just over two weeks ago, I revealed my five least favourite football pundits. Unsurprisingly, several readers threw in their two cents, venting their collective spleens over the men they believe are responsible for hideous crimes against television and radio decency. According to the readers of footballfancast.com, the following five ‘experts’ shouldn’t be let anywhere near a camera or microphone…

5 – Joe Royle
Affectionately referred to as ‘Mr. Potato Head’ amongst a small section of Liverpool fans, ESPN’s decision to deploy the services of former Everton manager Joe Royle as a co-commentator adds further weight behind the argument that ‘Americans just don’t get football’. Royle is another man from the stable of ‘commentators who state the blatantly obvious’, although he also has a tendency to assert the ludicrous, having once stated that ‘speed’ is one of Emile Heskey’s qualities.

4 – Graham Taylor
Having annoyed the country for three years in the early 1990s with his pitiful work as England manager, Elton John’s best buddy has also built himself a reputation as a similarly rubbish co-commentator and pundit for the best part of the last six years. Like so many others, Taylor seldom deviates from stating the obvious, although Taylor seems to have turned said fault into an art-form. Speaking of a game featuring Arsenal, Taylor once stated “the thing Arsenal need to do here, is score a goal”. Thanks for clearing that one up Graham.

3 – Craig Burley
Hands up, who thought that the best thing about Setanta’s demise was the prospect of Craig Burley being removed entirely from our TV screens? Unfortunately, ESPN (Grrr, damn you again!) provided Burley with a route back into the punditry game, giving the nation the chance to hear more pearls of wisdom from the man with the missing teeth. Described by one forum poster as ‘the grumpiest man alive’, the former Chelsea man has additionally alluded to a lack of command over the English language, stating “Mark McGhee had the right word for the conditions – ‘not adept’” after a clash between Celtic and Motherwell was called off.

2 – Mark Lawrenson
Unlike former Liverpool teammate Alan Hansen, erratic former Eire international Mark Lawrenson has yet to provide the impression of a man with unquestionable, authoritative knowledge of football. The once moustachioed pundit/co-commentator frequently acts as if drunk on several pints of bitter, an illusion reinforced by his pathetic weekly Premier League score predictions on the BBC website. What’s more contemptible is Lawrenson’s proclivity for the cringeworthy ‘Dad/embarrassing uncle’ pun, as highlighted below.
“Much Adu about nothing.” (After USA international Freddy Adu came on as a substitute against England and misplaced a pass)

1 – Andy Gray
Part of television’s most ubiquitous commentary team (with the irrepressible Martin Tyler of course), Andy Gray has managed to become a figure of hate for a surprisingly large and passionate group of his detractors. Gray is allegedly anti-Liverpool, anti-Chelsea, anti-Tottenham, anti-Arsenal, whilst apparently being pro-Everton, pro-Manchester United, pro-Fernando Torres, pro-Wayne Rooney and pro-Steven Gerrard (phew!). Perceived sense of bias aside, the man responsible for coining the oft-mocked phrase ‘tikkaboo son!’ has suffered several bouts of verbal diarrhoea in his time narrating the game. The following quotes attest to this assertion.
“It’s what I call one of those ‘indefensible ones’ – you can’t defend against them.”
“People say footballers have terrible taste in music but I would dispute that. In the car at the moment I’ve got The Corrs, Cher, Phil Collins, Shania Twain and Rod Stewart.”

Bolton leading the way for Petrov
Martin Petrov is very much in demand since being released by Manchester City but Bolton are reported to be ahead of Aston Villa, Everton and West Ham in the chase for his signature.
Bulgarian Petrov spent three years at the City of Manchester Stadium after they paid Atletico Madrid £4.7 million for his services in July 2007. He went on to play in 59 Premier League games for City and scored nine goals for them.
He never appeared to figure in the plans once Roberto Mancini replaced Mark Hughes as manager and it was no surprise when they decided against offering him a new deal at the end of the season.
He didn't feature at all after February but news that he's a free agent has alerted clubs in a number of European countries. Petrov has indicated that he'd prefer to remain in England and is set to have a medical at Bolton.
It seems that the deal is still some way off but he's a player Owen Coyle is very keen to bring in as he builds his own squad of players.

Manchester City Prepare €24 Million Offer For Inter Striker Mario Balotelli
Mancini wants Balotelli, but Inter will only sell if they get Tevez...
Manchester City have upscaled their interest in Mario Balotelli by faxing Inter an initial €24 million offer, according to Il Corriere dello Sport.
Roberto Mancini is hopeful he can land the 19-year-old Italian hitman, but in return, the Nerazzurri want Carlos Tevez who is admired by Rafael Benitez.
However, Mancini is not prepared to sell the Argentinean hot-shot, leaving Inter to keep a strong hold on Balotelli.
It seems the Italians will only sell their man if City guarantee they will get Tevez.
Despite the report, Balotelli's agent Mino Raiola said the Citizens have not made any official contact with him, but was unable to confirm whether Inter had received an offer.
"No-one from City has contacted me and I have never spoken with any directors from the English club. If they want Balotelli, they will let me know about it."


[btajim]

Bolton leading the way for Petrov
Martin Petrov is very much in demand since being released by Manchester City but Bolton are reported to be ahead of Aston Villa, Everton and West Ham in the chase for his signature.
Bulgarian Petrov spent three years at the City of Manchester Stadium after they paid Atletico Madrid £4.7 million for his services in July 2007. He went on to play in 59 Premier League games for City and scored nine goals for them.
He never appeared to figure in the plans once Roberto Mancini replaced Mark Hughes as manager and it was no surprise when they decided against offering him a new deal at the end of the season.
He didn't feature at all after February but news that he's a free agent has alerted clubs in a number of European countries. Petrov has indicated that he'd prefer to remain in England and is set to have a medical at Bolton.
It seems that the deal is still some way off but he's a player Owen Coyle is very keen to bring in as he builds his own squad of players.

Petrov wouldn't have been worth releasing if he goes to Villa or Everton. Two sides competing with us in the upper echelons of the Premiership. West Ham would be the right move for him although he might not need to move house if he goes to Bolton. They could be a side to watch next season. Just an inkling. Hope I'm wrong though. Hate the fuckers.