The Bloke Behind Me

[patrickblue]

Home to the barcodes a couple of seasons back, we're singing "Sven Goran Ericsson". The Newcastle fans come back with "Fat bastard Allardyce"

[Hazy]

When Arsenal trounced us one night at Maine Road, Henry was running Dunney raged, A bloke and his son left after 20 mins or so I think it 8-0 at the time or could have been ! As he left he shouted Royle you are A wanker, the son shouted YEAH I'm with him, some kid shouted you lucky c***. Every fooker fell about laughing, typical City we turned a piss take performance from Arsenal into a carnival.

[Dronny]

Racial slurs are brilliant yeah.

Sorry fella, but as a couple of the other lads have pointed out I don't believe there was any racial slant to what the guy said. He was merely taking the mickey reference his name and nowt else, I could be wrong though but don't think so.

[Niall Quinns Discopants]

Villa Park, first game of last season and we're 4-1 down with Agbonlahor having just completed his hat-trick, so what do you do when that happens, slag the shit out of him of course. Three guys to my left, absolutely roaring at him whenever he came towards our side of the pitch with HEY! IT'S NOT HALLOWEEN! TAKE OFF THE FUCKING MASK GABBY! YOU'RE SCARING THE KIDDIES! He didn't know where to look and despite the mood being a little sour obviously, everyone erupted into laughter. Not necessarily because it was actually that funny, but they were so passionate about it- red in the face, screaming it.

One of my favourites, and one that more recently I've heard sung at Upton Park when we played them in the cup and up in Middlesbrough early on last season- 'if you can't talk proper shut your mouth'- wonder if the irony was intended? In that same cup game with West Ham, actually, a brilliant chant was born- 'Sven, Sven, wherever you may be, you are the king of man city, and you can shag my wife on our settee, if you win us a cup at the Wemb-er-ley'. Top class!

The chorus of 'Schalke auf wiedersehn' was brilliant too, and strangely they loved it. Waving back at us and laughing. The filth should take lessons off them in 'storming out with ten minutes to go when you're losing etiquette'.

Going back a little further, and this isn't so much a funny memory but a strange one. Uwe Rosler stepped up to take a penalty, fucked if I remember who against mind, and missed it, and some cunt starts giving it loads- 'you fucking Nazi' and so on, so the whole section of the Maine Stand we were in all turned their heads up towards him, completely ignoring the game and gave him a collective 'you twat' stare. There must've been 200 odd, bet he felt a bit silly.

On a similar note to that, 06/07 season and we were playing West Ham at home. So this guy behind us is mouthing off EVERY MINUTE of the first half, berating Samaras. Fucking scarecrow, greasy haired twat, my dead nan could put a better fucking shift in than you etc. etc. You know the rest- second half, arise Sir George, two cracking finishes. Bloke stormed off!

I thought it was even funnier when some blokes started chanting "We are multi-lingual"!!

[AlpsMaster]

The one that I always remember was when someone behind me shouted "YOU'D BE BETTER OF COCKLE PICKING !!!" to Sun Jihai.

Totally sick and racist of course.

[Beefymcfc]

There's a bloke in front of me who seems to be able to let the players know exactly who to pass to and let's them know it. When they score he always says, 'There you go, you know you should listen to me!', and when we don't, he says, 'Why the fuck didn't you listen to me?'

This all sounds well and good if you're sat next to the Dug-Out or close to the touch-line, but this balloon sits in the Colin Bell third teir!?!

[Goaters 103]

Funy one a couple of weeks back at Blackburn - was anyone else on here sitting in the end block of the Darwen lower tier, next to the Jack Walker lower tier?

There was a Blackburn fan in the Jack Walker lower sat closeby who looked mildly like Gareth Gates; anyway all through the entire game a Blue behind us, whenever it went quiet would shout "GARETH" at this guy. First time he did it, it took about 3 shouts and the Rovers fan looked and gestured "Who me?" back with a quizzical look to establish that he was the target.

It went on all game, "GARETH ... Are your lot ever gonna get any better" "GARETH .... you cant be happy watching this shite every week etc etc" "GARETH .... has the career going, you need a new agent" etc etc "GARETH.... looks like your hairs getting wet in this rain"

Fair play to the Rovers lad who took it in decent spirit but I bet he was relieved at the final whistle.

[Dunne's Half-Time Pint]

Racial slurs are brilliant yeah.

? I dont understand that comment DHTP?

I thought Dronnys comment was funny.... however, totally absurd as moses turned richards inside out last night

I didn't quote Dronny - nothing wrong with a Moses reference - surprised anyone thought that tbh, I'm not a mental.

More the sun jihai and damian duff comments - neither of which would've made me "piss myself".

[Wonderwall]

thought I would resurrect this thread as its been a while and there should be a few more stories

[Piccsnumberoneblue]

thought I would resurrect this thread as its been a while and there should be a few more stories

And it gives me the opportunity to tell of my all time favourite. Actually my lad's mate. Berating the lino for a string of iffy offside calls.
"LINESMAN LINESMAN, Why don't you go and fist yerself? . . . . I would!"

[roblues]

Rochdale vs Darlington, playoff semi final a few years back. Julian Joachim is having a right moan at the ref for the tenth time that game, to which TBBM shouts "Fuck off back to the chocolate factory Joachim!"

A shocked silence is followed by a few guys standing and glaring at him. As the gravity of what he has said dawns on him, he pleads "No, no, I meant because he's an Umpa Lumpa!"

[Goataldo]

We had T.O. Jackie behind us against Saints at the weekend, she was well oiled (not like that, no). She's as mad as a sock full of frogs. that woman. First she attempted to rouse the crowd with a rendition of 'If yer all goin Anfield clap yer hands' - unlikely that all of us were, or enough of us to get a song going and she just got a couple of quizzical looks. The brain-cogs ground on a little, and then she came out with 'If you love Gareth Barry clap yer hands' - cutting edge, topical stuff.

Someone up there^ mentioned that he'd heard someone shout 'GAVALANISE YOURSELVES CITY' at a game once. I was sitting in the Platt Lane End a few years back, and someone shouted the same. Some bloke near him turned round and replied; 'What, you want them to coat themselves in bloody zinc?'

[Nick]

I have too many in my book ;)...

.... apparantly

[frankswift]

At Burnden Park many years ago, with a mate of mine, for a testimonial game. Bolton vs. retired famous players or something like that.

We were trying to work out who the goalkeeper was. I reckoned it was Ray Clemence, but couldn't be sure. So I said to a Bolton lad who had a programme "Who's the goalkeeper, mate?", to which he replied, "It's that cunt over there in the green jersey. "

[Goaters 103]

TBBM in the North Stand level 2 always shouts "Shoot" whenever Kolarov gets the ball in the opposition half. Doesn't matter if he's hugging the touchline, facing away from goal, taking a corner, whatever.

We also have mobile phone man too, the modern day equivalent to the latter day transistor radio man, who spends most of the game on his phone checking other scores and telling us all that Rochdale/Oldham/Darlington/Blackpool/Altrincham are 1 up.

[RodneyRodney]

Circa '85 , Kippax. "Benson, you couldn't manage a bloody ERECTION !!"

[sandman]

.

[Goaters 103]

Am sure Ive mentioned this one on here somewhere before but it still cracks me up as its a Kippax humour classic.

Its the late 80's and Trevor Morley is struggling after his move to City. Cant remember the exact game, but he picks the ball up in the centre circle, and embarks on a run towards the North Stand; remarkably beats a couple of players and cracks a shot that the opposing keeper just flicks over the bar. A loud "ohhhhh" comes from the crowd followed by prolonged applause; as the ball is sent out towards the corner flag for the corner, and the crowd noise finally dies down, a lone voice bellowed from the back of the Kippax "Yer still fuclin shit Morley!" - I swear half the Kippax was in tears of laughter for 5 mins afterwards!

[maddog fenton]

I always remember these too fans who would sit behind me in the kippax, a lad calls druggie dougie and a las who he called shit coat, man they sat a part but they would always end up having a rite argue at each other, think they were married the way they went at each other

[MilnersJaw]

Am sure Ive mentioned this one on here somewhere before but it still cracks me up as its a Kippax humour classic.

Its the late 80's and Trevor Morley is struggling after his move to City. Cant remember the exact game, but he picks the ball up in the centre circle, and embarks on a run towards the North Stand; remarkably beats a couple of players and cracks a shot that the opposing keeper just flicks over the bar. A loud "ohhhhh" comes from the crowd followed by prolonged applause; as the ball is sent out towards the corner flag for the corner, and the crowd noise finally dies down, a lone voice bellowed from the back of the Kippax "Yer still fuclin shit Morley!" - I swear half the Kippax was in tears of laughter for 5 mins afterwards!

Sounds funny. Today said fan would get his head bitten off for being a two bit supporter for not supporting the team.